GoT Vapes: What to Watch for in Game of Thrones Season 7, and What to Vape While You’re Doing It

GoT Vapes: What to Watch for in Game of Thrones Season 7, and What to Vape While You’re Doing It

The long wait is finally over. You survived. Game of Thrones Season 7 is here, three months late (and three episodes short). As small consolation for this inexcusable treachery, and to get you even more fired up about new Game of Thrones episodes, we put together this little preview of the penultimate (look it up) season of the best TV series ever.

Get ready: Vapor is coming! (As are some serious SPOILERS, if you’re not caught up, so be warned.)

You’re Not My Real Father!

So, now we know who Jon Snow’s birth parents are. How will he find out, and how will he react when he does? And who will spill their guts on his parentage? As much as Maury Povich would like the job, it probably won’t be him. Bran may return to Winterfell and give him the scoop. The conniving Littlefinger seems a likely candidate, but we can’t be sure. If Jon Snow happens to walk away from a fire naked but unharmed he may start to get an idea on his own.

Suggested vape for this storyline: Tribeca, the daddy of all tobacco vape flavors.

Beyond the Big, Beautiful Wall

Jon Snow’s watch officially ended last season, but the trailers released show him heading back out beyond the Wall, where he’s certain to face untold dangers. White Walkers are in the neighborhood. And no telling how many door-to-door solicitors! We’re not sure which species is scarier.

Suggested vape for this storyline: “Da Snow Man” will be facing frigid conditions outside the Wall. Vape some SubZero as a show of solidarity.

Invasion Procrastination

Daenerys has been talking about traveling to Westeros to get some payback for six long seasons. Will she storm in, dragons blazing, and reclaim the throne, or will she get held up at customs? Whatever the case, we’re sure the outcome will be a real scorcher.

Suggested vape for this storyline: If you’re on Daenerys’ side, and we know you are, consider vaping the fire-cured tobacco flavor of LongHorn, which produces vapor clouds so large they would make any dragon jealous.

Revenge of the Drogon Lady

OK, we just questioned whether or not Daenerys is going to kick some ass in Westeros. But who are we kidding? We totally know she’ll not only do it, but will also take names, heads, and various other body parts, too. It’s gonna be epic! Dothraki horsemen on the ground. Dragons in the air. Blood everywhere. Mostly of the “Type Lannister” variety, we expect (and hope).

Suggested vape for this storyline: Daenerys will be wielding big power in Westeros. Torque 56’s unfiltered tobacco flavor has that in spades, axes, and swords.

Who’s Bringing the Potato Salad?

It looks like some of the Stark offspring may soon be meeting up at Winterfell. We know it can be tough to get everyone together for family reunions, especially when some members are literally in separate pieces. (Ohh, too soon?) But the family bond will probably energize the Starks once they don their “Stark Family Reunion” t-shirts and share stories of what they’ve been up to since 2011 (our time). We’re sure they’ll try to rebuild the power the Stark name once wielded.

Suggested vape for this storyline: Belgian Cocoa is a suitable choice when watching a family that’s ready to come in from the cold and taste the sweet life again.

Let’s Get Ready to Cleaganebowl!

The long-awaited no-holds-barred grudge match between The Hound and The Mountain, “Cleaganebowl,” may be about to break out. Who would win this battle of the brothers? Place your bets now. We’re almost as excited to see the outcome as we are to see all those great Cleaganebowl TV spots during the commercial breaks. They are so clever!

Suggested vape for this storyline: Pirate’s Creed embodies the fighting spirit of the most dysfunctional pair of siblings since Cain and Abel (or Cersei and Jamie).

So, gather your friends. Fetch the food and drink. And speaking of thrones, might we suggest using the bathroom before each Game of Thrones episode commences? You won’t want to miss a second!

We’ll see you July 16 and every Sunday evening for the foreseeable future, right in front of our TVs.

What are you looking forward to most about Season 7 of Game of Thrones? Tell us below!


The opinions and other information contained in these blog posts and comments do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of Nicopure Labs LLC, owner of the Halo and Halo Cigs marks.

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Patrick Moody 66 posts

Patrick is overjoyed to be a professional storyteller, aka writer, as he’s terrible at math.

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